fear and victory

In theory, we have a little break from Dave having to go to any of our rental properties for (major) repairs and maintenance. I say "in theory" because if there is anything I learned over the past year + of getting our newest rental ready, it's to never assume that things will go the way that I expect or want them to go. But as it stands right now, all our units are rented except for the water-damaged back house on one of our properties (which contractors are working on) so "in theory" there are only minor things here and there we need to take care of until someone moves out. In the meantime, I continue to pray that this season of respite from rental craziness lasts a little bit longer.

This means we're in a new season of having Dave home more than he is gone which is a little scary to think about. Scary because I'm afraid of relaxing too much and enjoying and depending on him being home.

You see, when this whole business started at the end of '09, it was really hard to push down feelings of resentment of being "stuck" at home while Dave got to be out getting things done. This also was the first time in our marriage when Dave was away from home more than he was at home. This was a huge and hard transition to make especially since we had four children ages 6 and under, were new to homeschooling and were just at the beginning of winter (and cold and flu season!). Before this experience, I sometimes could barely wait for Dave to get home from work so I could get some relief from the intensity of parenting.

Sometimes the only thing that got me through a tough time of it was God bringing to mind single parents or women who have their husbands deployed overseas in the military. I also thought of my mom and how she had to cope during the many times my Dad had to travel. (He knows that if I'm aware of how much more others struggle or suffer in this world, than I'm much less likely to complain ;).)

I also had to battle the "stuck" thoughts with remembering that Dave was doing this for our family and that he was working hard on this house because he saw it as work that God gave him to do. That is just one of the many things I love about Dave - he is never one to do things only half way. When he has a task before him, he puts his whole heart into it to make sure he is finishing the task well and following through on his obligations.

And I had to keep digging for the good I knew God wanted to bring out of this season because it tells us in James 1:2b-5,12 to, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."

True to His Word, God did grow me in many ways: by not being defeated by feelings of resentment and other accusations the enemy brought to mind, by increasing my dependence on Him, in showing me my sin tendencies and areas which will need further growth and by choosing to do the hard things (like take four young children to places all by yourself) because the alternative means staying exactly in the same place which is stifling to the body, mind and Holy-Spirit-within-you. This is my victory.

So in this new season, I must battle the fear that tells me if we get to enjoy a longer-than-anticipated season of having Dave home more than away, then I will revert to the person I was before November 2009. I must battle the fear that maybe I didn't grow as much as I thought or in the way of God's choosing and so must ensure a much harder season to further refine me. And I must battle three much more dangerous foes: self-sufficiency, pride and desire for control which can threaten to rear their ugly heads when it's time for me to respect Dave's way of doing things now that he is home and able to be more hands on in how our house is run and our children are raised. Clearly, the race I must now run is marked out for me and I pray I will be able to claim the prizes of God-reliance, humility and godly submission. That will be my victory.

from their lips

Two lessons which I continually find myself teaching these days to the kids (and myself :) ) is not pestering one another (cabin fever anyone?) and the importance of casting out the enemy when he tells them lies. I think the lessons are starting to have an effect...

Yesterday, Reese was coloring at the dining room and Luke was "clamoring" for his attention. Reese matter-of-factly said to him, "Go pester Satan."

Hmmm....now there's a thought.

seeking 6-sided snowflakes

Oddly enough, a lesson in spiritual warfare presented itself the other day in my snowflake creating frenzy.

In my first attempt to follow the directions, things went awry and this was the result:

Pretty right? Except that it's not. Right, that is.

You see, snowflakes are six-sided. (It has something do with hexagonal shapes and how they're perfectly suited to help water molecules sticking together - something I learned while homeschooling ;). )  The one pictured above has eight sides.

Then, as I was creating more, anatomically-correct flakes, Brie and Reese kept exclaiming how they loved this one (the eight-sided one). And since we were doing a weather unit for science and snowflakes were one of the things we studied, I tried to explain that although this one was pretty, it wasn't "right."

After arguing back and forth for a few minutes about the acceptability of this pretty snowflake, it finally dawned on me that this is exactly what God warns us against when He said in 2 Corinthians 11:14 that "Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." (NIV) I also like how The Message puts it: "Satan does it all the time, dressing up as a beautiful angel of light."

So I began explaining to them that this is exactly what we need to be on our guard against - things that look pretty and look like the real deal, but upon closer inspection are nothing but a dolled-up sham. And how many examples there are in the world today.

Television shows and books marketed to children are the two which come top of mind and which continually challenge me to look beyond the surface as a parent trying to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. The troubling thing is see how many followers of Christ are taken in by these pretty eight-sided snowflakes. Lest this turn into rant, I'll leave it at that, except for this grace note (and image).

Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. (2 Peter 3:17-18 NIV)

God Knew

Whew. I'm still a little shaky at the thought...with the knowing that some wires had been burning in our house Monday. But here's the full story...


Monday morning I came downstairs with the kids for breakfast. I can't remember whether I smelled something stinky in the kitchen or after I had opened the door to the basement to get something done there. Regardless, it totally reeked...kind of like the smell of burning rubber. Our smoke alarms weren't going off (and I double checked the one in the basement to make sure it was working...it was), but just to be on the safe side, I turned off the furnace (which was running at the time) - we had just had work done on it, and my first thought is that maybe something got loose or something while it was being fixed.
So I called the furnace company and tried to get back into the breakfast routine, but was still bothered by the yet unidentified source of the smell. I checked the basement a couple of time to be sure I was seeing any smoke or further evidence of the odor. But God kept reminding of this family and how Lynn (the mom) kept hearing a smoke alarm going off but didn't see any evidence of smoke or fire - until it was too late and their entire house burned down (she tells about it in much more detail on her blog). And as I was eating breakfast, God kept nudging me to call the fire department and kept bringing the thought to mind that it could be burning wires.

Finally, I gave into the Spirit's promptings and called our fire department. A couple fire fighters came out and checked the house. Though they too could smell the odor, their CO meter didn't register anything and they couldn't identify what might have been the cause. I know I mentioned a couple times how I felt the need to call specifically because I've heard of homes that have caught on fire because of wiring in the walls. But the fire fighters didn't seem to think this was a strong possibility. Since everything seemed to check out, they departed.

After they left, I went back down to the basement to turn off the lights and noticed our dryer had stopped mid-cycle (though the knob was almost to the off position which is probably why I didn't notice this at first). Remembering Dave had put a load in just before he left, I figured it was the dryer that went on the fritz and was the cause of the smell. Hence a call to our appliance repairman. After describing the odor, etc, he thought it might have been the dryer's motor that went.

Anyway, for various reasons, it wasn't until today that our repairman came out to take a look at the dryer. Turns out it is excellent working condition.

The problem was with our circuit-breaker - made by the Federal Pacific company decades ago. Our repairman said these type of circuit-breakers are known to cause entire houses to burn down and this one should be ripped out ASAP. Scary, huh?

We had known something about our electrical system was not up to code based on past inspections, but had been (almost 7 years) lazy in doing anything about it.

What is overwhelming me right now is thinking how God intervened, how God knew. He told me to call the fire department, He reminded me about Lynn's story and electrical wire fires and He must have intervened to prevent a fire because there's no other explanation as to why wires that had started to burn didn't end up causeing a fire. Some people may say we were lucky or maybe they'll find a "natural" explanation as to why a fire didn't occur, but I don't believe in luck, I believe in Jesus. God stood in the gap for us.

The moral of this story...if someone tells you to update your electrical system, do it. Immediately. If God tells you to call the fire department or police or a doctor or go to the hospital even if it doesn't seem like an emergency do it. If you don't have a peace about something and God keeps bring a specific image or phrase to mind - tune in, listen up and obey. And pray. Over all things God brings into your life...your house, car, appliances :), your friends, your loved ones, your life.
 
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.  (1 Timothy 1:17 NKJV, emphasis mine)

Check This Out...

I was on Beth Moore's blog the other day (she's one of my favorite Bible study teachers) and she felt led to memorize two Scripture verses each month (on the first and fifteenth) for this year. Knowing it's better to have accountability in endeavors such as this, she thought to post it on her blog and see if others would like to join her. Memorizing Scripture is a great way to enhance your connection to God and it's helped me in my prayers and overcoming thoughts that are clearly from the enemy. Check out her blog at http://livingproofministries.blogspot.com/ if you're interested. It's not too late to sign up. Look at the December 27 and 31 posts for details and to comment if you're on board.

Spiritual Dodgeball

I was reading "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver (awesome book!) and in the chapter on "Mind Control" she was provided an illustration from another author. In the quote, this author used an analogy for when we are under attack from the enemy with persistant, sinful thoughts of somebody treading water and being surrounded by a dozen corks which the swimmer feels compelled to push down repeatedly in attempt to submerge them once and for all. Of course this exercise is futile because they will always pop back up. Instead, the author suggests, "he should ignore the stupid corks and head for the safety of shore," the shore being God.

When I read that, at first I laughed and then immediately cried, because this is so often what I do - focus on the corks instead of the safe harbor.

Then another image came to mind, which I'd share, because it may help when you feel under the enemy's attack. I got the impression (at first it was of playing a baseball game, but that didn't seem to fit) of being in a dodgeball court with all these balls being chucked at me from all directions. I can try to fend them off in my own strength and risk being battered by them, or I can imagine that I have a Teammate who can deflect them for me - and to better effect.

So right now, I'm holding this picture in my head of Jesus standing right there beside, behind and in front of me, taking care of the endless dodgeballs when I choose to rest in His presence. While this may sound too passive and a "cop out", I'm thinking it is the harder thing to do - to consciously choose to let Jesus take control of the situation, of my life, and just stand there and agree that He would defeat the enemy in the way of His choosing.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."
John 15:7 NASB