Ever Feel Like You're Talking to the Wall?

That's often the question that has been running through my mind lately. Maybe it's because of the winter months that keep us cooped up, maybe it's because of the house rental renovation project or maybe it's just because God wants to have me deal with the unlovely things in my life - anger issues, selfishness, pride.

Whatever it is, I often find myself thinking, saying, sometimes yelling, "Why don't you listen to me?!!!" - this is in regards to the kids, of course. I tell ya, nothing makes you see how sinful a person you really are until you have children. And suddenly, all the patience, decorum, ability to talk without raising your voice and other social graces that you thought you possessed go right out the window. I think that's one of the reasons God gave us children as they are, and not adult progeny. In His wisdom, He knew that once we had (somewhat) mastered the art of interacting in the adult world with a modicum of grace, we needed something to humble us, to drive us to our knees asking for His help in dealing with this sin sickness. And to show us that we need Him, our Savior.

It was in one of the moments of shouting (this time in my mind), "Why don't you listen to me? Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me" over and over again, I felt Him gently remind me that He's there listening to me...all the time. "Oh" said I in my mind and then I got quiet.

He said, "I'm here all the time for you. I hear you. I'm here for you. Come to me when you're frustrated. Come to Me and I'll help you figure this out. Let your first response be to stop and pray. Leave the room if you must, but seek Me before you speak. Give Me your frustration, your anger, your feelings of helplessness. Let's deal with this. Let Me give you my love, My peace, My patience, My wisdom."

Yes, Lord. Amen. (Note: that above are more impressions of what I believe He has been speaking to me about this, lest you think that I have the ability to hear God in surround sound. :) )

So, I'm praying that God would break these strongholds of pride, anger, selfishness off me. I'm not sure how this will happen and the road may get a little rockier on the way. But I know He will answer the prayer somehow. Because He never likes to see any of His children in bondage.

Incidentally, I've also noticed how often the kids get frustrated with me or each other when they don't feel listened to. So I've begun to ponder how I can teach them to be better listeners. Not surprisingly, I feel like God reminding me I need to take that speck out of my eye first. :) Since I need all the help I can get, please let me know if you have come across any good books or resources on how to listen to your children (and others) and how to model this so they become good listeners in turn.

Thanks for listeing! :)